A Work in Progress: ME

Before I start, I should tell you that I am Jewish.  I have my own beliefs about my religion and I think most people interpret their religions differently.  I for one struggled to come to a point where I accepted that this is what I was and a big part of who I am.  I do not attend temple on a regular basis, I do not keep Kosher, I TRY to light the Shabbat candles every Friday, but I do not observe the Sabbath in a conventional way.  My religion and my G-d are inside me.  I think about how to live my life to the best of my ability, to make it a full life where I do as many Mitzvot as I can.  When I let a car in that is coming from an on ramp, I think "well that was a Mitzvah", when I let someone with a screaming child in front of me in line at the super market, I think "that was a Mitzvah."  I try to do Mitzvah through my children and through my every day life.  I recite a few different prayers throughout the day every day.  When I wake up and right before I go to sleep,  I recite the Shema, before I eat, I thank G-d for the food that I am about to consume, I always bless wine if I am drinking any, and I generally talk to G-d all day.  Thanking Him for various things in my life.  One prayer that resonates in my head almost all day long is the Serenity Prayer:

G-d grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

This prayer has become perhaps the most important one in my life right now.  I interpret in many different ways and apply different aspects of it to my life every day.  This may be one of the most profound prayers that I have ever come across.  It is as if you have to work it one step at a time.  Which is probably why it is the pinnacle of 12 step programs everywhere.  I have found that it does not matter if you are in a program in order to use this prayer in your life.  I feel it pertains to so many different things.  There is one part that stood out to me the most when I first started to apply it to my life.  Actually it was one word, "accept."  This brought about my "Aha moment" and started me on a journey that I know will be a life long one.  I looked the word "acceptance" up in the dictionary and found the definition that most suited my needs:

Acceptance: Willingness to toloerate a difficult or unpleasant situation.  (another definition that goes along with the prayer is: Agreement with or belief in an idea, opinion or explanation).

For me the work began when I realized that I needed to work on my acceptance and so I wrote this:

Accept myself and others for who I am and who they are.  Forget about projecting and judging and discomfort and preconceived notions.  Find out truth before formulating an opinion.  Change in self brings about change in others.  Try to just live and be happy.  Don't TRY to be happy, just BE happy!  Remember to love even when it is not well received or returned.  Pray.  Pray for the right things.  Talk to G-d.  Laugh, cry, dream.  Live and do it well. 

This I read every day.  It is so hard to do everything I decided to do here, but I am trying.  Acceptance may be one of the hardest things any of us will ever have to do in our lives.  It is my belief that we must all try though.  So, that is what I am working on.  Me a work in progress.

Paula G