A little side story here will help my point... At the moment and for the past month or more, I have been vegan. It happened when my husband and I decided to go on a juice fast. We did a modification and for ten days or more only had juice (made with our juicer) in the morning and salad for lunch and dinner (we have also made our household gluten-free). After the fast/cleanse was over, we started to reintroduce rice including rice noodles. We have made some really good food that is not only vegan, but also gluten-free. The kids and my husband are eating meat, but not nearly as much as they used to. My husband asks me every now and then when I am going to stop being a vegan. I just look at him, smile and say, "I don't know." I refuse to say, "I will never be a carnivore again." I have no idea what the future holds for me in that aspect. For now, I like being a vegan and I do not miss any of the foods I used to love. This is what got me thinking about the past.
When I was a teenager I said those words a lot. I would never drink alcohol, smoke, have premarital sex, have a job in a fast food restaurant, do things my mother or father did. You get the idea. I ate almost all of my "I will never" statements. When I was even younger I said I would never question my faith and then when I did, I said I would never go back. I used to think of myself as a strong person with a lot of conviction. I was someone who could stand by my word. Only I didn't.
I am a Jewish female, a mother, daughter, wife, sister, student, friend and so much more. I won't apologize for being wrong about myself in the past. I know who I am right now. I know who and what I want to be in the future. I have a lot of dreams not only for me, but for my family and friends as well. I don't make promises lightly anymore. I can't say I will never do this or not do that because I truly do not know. I can say I don't think I will ever jump out of a plane or go bungee jumping, but that is a much more accurate statement than saying I will never do those things. Who knows?
For those of you who know me, please know that if I did anything in the past that hurt you because of my "I will never" statements, I am sorry. I am not sorry for being wrong because people make mistakes. What I can say I am sorry about is hurting others if I did. I have come to realize that people rely on what you say and that is why you cannot make those statements lightly. It not only could come back to haunt you, but it could hurt someone you really love. Please be careful of what you say.
I will always keep trying to be a better person and I will never stop moving forward. (wink)
My baby's growing up. Dad
ReplyDeleteOh, Paula. I know exactly what you mean by those I-nevers. I have a whole collection of them. I've had to remind myself to stop with the I-nevers because like you, I've had to eat a few. They'd probably go better with a bit of ketchup.
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